No matter what age we are birthdays are important. They are important for the 'birthdayee' because they allow him or her to reflect on the past year, to celebrate the good things that have happened, to acknowledge the difficult and painful times, and to think about their hopes for the year to come. For those around them, it allows precious space to really think about just how much this person means to them - how precious they are, how deeply loved.
Today my best friend is celebrating his birthday. As well as being my best friend, he is my lover, my partner, my husband, and daddy to my two children. His name is Mike.
Mike is the cleverest person I know. He has a Phd, he is incredibly academically accomplished. He can retain and store information in his brain that I could not hope to remember for even a day or two! He understands and can talk very knowledgably about all manner of subjects - history, politics, film history, archaeology, science, geology to name but a few. He reads avidly (and always has done) and is interested in almost everything. He is passionate about the environment and protecting it, he writes letters to the Guardian and the BBC commenting on coverage of important issues because he loves this earth and wants it protected.
What Mike cannot bear is injustice; ill-treatment of vulnerable people; prejudice; the stone-hard side of politics which rides roughshod over people and their needs; and capitalism which lines the pockets of the rich and takes advantage of the poor, the struggling, the people who work hard for things they believe in. He is passionate and uncompromising.
Mike is a stay-at-home Dad. He gave up work to care for our eldest when she was 6-months old and I returned to work. For the past 9 years he has lived out the brave step he took to buck the trend and be the one who takes on the burden of the child-care and home chores.
He was the one who went to the 'mum and baby' groups.
He was the one who queued outside playgroup with the mums.
He was the one who washed, fed, cleaned, cuddled our two babies.
Today he works part-time at the weekends at John Lewis and he has become a 'lunchtime supervisor' at the school our youngest child goes to (a 'dinner-man' rather than 'dinner-lady'). For the first few days he was called 'Miss' - the children still don't quite know what to call him! He helps them cut up their food, he mops up spills, he sorts our playground disputes, and he organises basketball games. He does this job because it means he can still be there for our children - before and after school, in the holidays - and because it helps with our family finances.
Mike is quick-witted and very, very funny! He laughs often and others laugh with him. He enjoys comedy and he has a quirky and sometimes completely off the wall sense of humour. It is often humour that he uses to keep troubles in perspective, and remind the people around him that really all is not lost.
Sometimes people do not see his deep wisdom - but I do. He brings it into our relationship, into our family, to his parents and siblings. He is absolutely committed to his loved ones, no matter what the cost to him. All he sees is precious people he wants to give of himself to. All he wants for is their happiness. He loves his children deeply and they love him. He embodies good and gentle fatherhood - he lives it.
Mike isn't a perfect person, none of us are! Mike makes mistakes just like me and you. He has bad days, he gets discouraged, he feels life is hard sometimes.
He also thinks I am simply wonderful! He sees me like no one else does. It's not that he doesn't see my faults, but that his love for me makes them insignificant. I was given Mike by God - exactly the right person for me, a person who could love, and love, and love me.
Happy Birthday my best friend
Happy Birthday - and I love you x
